Fragility.

I don't know what are the right things to do.

There's so much I'd like to say to you, but sometimes not saying makes it all the better.

Can't seem to be at ease around people anymore.

Happy birthday, it was great having you around with me while it lasted. But now it's just plain awkward and it ended badly, I don't know how.
I hope all your wishes come true and you'll find out that love is protecting the people, or person, you love.

Chocolate has no effect on me.

I have found the perfect place to study.

Stayed up till 1+ am playing/screaming with gao yi fan and brother. Those two boys are crazy.

If phases aren't meant to last, tell me why this one ain't ending yet.

El Shaddai.

Brother's china dude who came yesterday sleeps bottomless. Was pretty disturbing when he walked around the house at night without pants. Anyway, it's great because the family's driving all around Singapore to get the best of Singapore's food. Shiok to the max.

I can't seem to give a hoot (a pathetic substitute for another much preferred word) about you. Because it's you, not me.

Bring on the pms.

"Let your heart have it's way today. You have to let your emotional side take control every now and then in order to get back on track. It is time to tell someone how you feel."

Horoscopes just always make sense. Somehow.

So, I got two signs. When I asked for three.
Now what is that supposed to mean?

/

School's a messy fun. Literally, at my table. Told Miss yang it was conducive.

Rain, rain, rain.

I'd bet everyone had that feeling of anxiety waiting for that one sms, constantly checking your phone only to be disappointed.

Well hurry up idiot, text me already!

The best one.

I want my miracle.

Played amateur football with bro, then stained my fingers purple making the crystal mix we bought from the Science Centre about four years back. Slept while doing Mole. Almost finishing sis's box of Ferrero Rocher's.

Take me away, take me away, I've got nothing left to say,
Just take me away.

I've never actually had a proper conversation with you before. Maybe I should start one, soon. Call you up, surprise you. Yeah, I can't get drunk while trying to study for final-year's can I.

Doing things I'll never do. I'd like that.

I have songs to listen to before I sleep now!!! Yay! (:

I am hyper at night. This is so cool.

Say goodnight, our first goodbye, I've only got forever and forever is fine.

Rainy nights mean many frogs in the kitchen. :D

Impossible.

From now on, I'm going to ask God for help.

WS and den. I know I'm not replying both of your smses. So I'll make it public here. You all are best friends. It'll be stupid to let love come between you both. No one's going to be second best, and trust me, two of you are inseparable. If I can't come between you two, who else can? (: Kidding. Friends are Forever, Men are Whatever. I know your friendship is way stronger than this, so please, please, I will just box both of your faces if you start fighting terribly or something. I know you'll can work it out.

My head's so heavy.

I'm so glad I got to know you. Though you might deem me insignificant.

Down, down, down.

I love the weekend.

Wednesday-

Went to macs to eat and play Bridge. For four hours non-stop. Hahahahahhaa. We were screaming and shouting and hanky-pankying so loudly. Like high-class gamblers. Can't remember much, 'cept I'm still bad. Vic probably hates being my partner. I lost 2 to 12. Anyway, barely made into the club so now that I'm in I'll let tat improve too. I won't forget you lah. (: Lied to my mum, said I had red cross meeting till 6.

Thursday-

Took E's car to Mount E. and waited for the two. Her dad asked for my name in chinese characters and then the nurses and everybody started calling me ET as in the alien. What the heck. Never going back there again. (: The receptionists made some lame joke about yawning at ion. I laughed and laughed. Hahaaha, was freaking funny to see Rach get her x-ray done and the splint thingy she'll wear. And saw how they made retainers. Walked around Paragon, treated stupid E to starbucks. Went to Taka, ate mos. Lied to my mum, said I had extended math supplementary. Took a car lift for the first time in my life. Haha. Two catholic high idiots from tll stalked me after class. Cowards, didn't dare to talk to me in the end. One looks like a rabbit, the other looks like snake. (:

Friday-

Bonded, AT LAST, with WS. Pepper lunch at Parkway and Koi. Lied to mum, said I had a target setting cum motivational talk in the hall till late. Lied to mum again, at home. Told her I needed to go to E's house to return her chem tb. Went there to watch Blonde Ambition. Like 5 minutes only. Hahahhaa. Then ran home because her house is at the other end of Kembagan. Like an hour later, cycled back to her house again. Watched White Chicks while doing amath. Both of them think I'm super dumb now cause I took ages to understand their teaching. Did 3 questions. Cycled back at top speed(almost banged into a dog, owner glared at me) and now I'm home alone.

Why am I lying to my mum so often now?!?!??!??!?! UGH. I am such a hypocrite.

Paige I'll bring the damn picture. Chill. (:

Need to Study. This sentence is like an over-played song that stops registering into your head after its on repeat for too long.

11.30pm-1.30am- Why Why Love! PS, den if you remember. Mike He is acting. Hehe. He got double chin now but the show still rocks.

Number four.

HAPPY SUPER ONE HUNDRED BELATED FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY VAISH. Our friendship is one year short of a decade baby. (: I miss you so much and I got you a present. Have fun while you're young. Really. (: Love ya.

I thought I saw a light in you.

heaven on earth.

I am glad to be back at school though half the time our heads are on the table. I love getting letters. It's like I get exclusive access to someone else's thoughts, it's great like that.
Yesterday's Transformers cum Youth Rally was good. I feel so guilty because i'm so stagnant in my relationship with God. I want to feel empowered like I did in camp Orion four years back. I want my faith to grow, the only sort of peace I can't get from anyone else but him. I need to change.

And I keep telling myself that but my obstinate and lazy self refuses to do anything.

There's a storm up ahead.

Well, I thought I could ignore you to make myself feel better. But now you're the one doing the ignoring so this is fucked up and I need sleep because I'm grumpy and I'll piss everybody's head off till they throw me out of the house.

-

"Pour me water."

This is a new confession. You lazy bitch, I've been doing what you wanted for so long now. And yeah I know people love your sunshine personality compared to my bland one, but obviously they haven't seen you the way I have. I know things go your way, you make them go your way, whatever. Some role model. Guess what? I grew up myself, and learned vengeance the way you taught me to.

You're not worth the energy.

/

Beth you shouldn't tag me with such a good note that I keep thinking about it and even blog about it. Hahahahahaha.

BEAT YOU UP.

If you can read it.

Love Lockdown.

The holidays are ending.

Sometimes you leave because you really want to stay.

When I say jump.

Well, we're just barely a few metres away.

Wen came over after tat left, though I badly wanted to study. "We'll study together!" has never worked on anybody. So we took out our combined collection, huge mind you, of nail polish, glitter, the works. She painted my last two fingers, scarred for life after that. HHAHAHHAA. Professional my head. Created a codeword, BS. No, it isn't bullshit. Went to the roof, to wrestle. Like on the roof. Got bored, did a prank joke. Felt so bad. She went home at 8. Thanks for New Moon and Subway cookies. :)

Studying Chinese now. With two dictionaries. I don't even know how to write basic words. This is awful.

Rekindle.
Is it?
Hit me.

YOU R THE LOVE!
Thanks for today. Hahahaha.

My soul mate is lightning.

Thunder.

Let's paint our nails neon pink, electric blue with purple hues.

Apples are my form of remedy.

Alcohol Butterfly.

I having a real bad headache, lack of sleep with two movies back to back. This is really late/outdated, but I love Slumdog Millionaire. It's the almost best movie ever. Went to WS's house, her mum kept feeding us(more specifically me) food. In my house we eat vegetables. Hahahha. Had a good time, picking out clothes, strumming her electric.

Just feels so fucking nothing.

" There was one night, just a normal guy.
And then there I was the next night...
Goddamnit, I was still just a normal guy."

- Hero-type

/

Divya, if you're reading this. Please. Just...it's up to you. I could just go on, it's been three months anyway, a lifetime of ignorance won't make a difference right? Well it does, look at my bestfriend when I was 10. Immature fights, petty and hurtful words. I still see her now, often. But I can't even look at her. You want that?

Materialize.

Bought a mood ring yesterday. Tried to test it out by rubbing it to see if the temperature would affect the mood. It didn't even change colour. So I put it in the fridge. It turned black. HHAHAHHA and black isn't even a colour for any mood. Maybe it's heart-beat sensitive. What the heck. Anyway went to Swensons with the $80 voucher we won from memory verse competition. Thank goodness this time the boys didn't eat all the ice-cream by themselves.
The house feels empty with half of the family gone. I need to exercise. And find my orange pick.
The only mediocrely exciting thing tomorrow is crashing WS's house to cry over movies, eat Macs for breakfast and make pizza with Joyce for dinner. Ugh.

Tat-
HEY MONKAYYY. :) I know you'll see this. Haha.

Feels like a Tuesday morning.

5 days with only sis around. Parents didn't trust me with my illegal antics so they're making my aunt come check on us whenever she can. Horrible.

Can anybody go shopping with me?! >:(

My knee is hurting like walau ouch to the power of 10. That sounded so lame. Woke up at 5am to send them off to the airport when I slept at one watching 1, watching Why Why Love. I was sleeping all over the airport, at every place we walked to. Hahaha.

I think all the juniors hate me, especially d.

September hols are here. Tell me why I still don't feel excited. Maybe cause it's bloody 8am now and nothing can sink in.