I'd love to think that's love is love, but what do I know?

Sink.

What's your best is only someone's half or less.

-

As E says, PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need guidance.

Shut up, just shut up. You had me at Hello.

OKAY IT'S LIKE FREAKING A.M NOW. I miss having a life. After I've realised how much I've actually been missing out. Fun, that is.
Life has been generous to me this year. I have lots to say but when it comes down to blogging about it, it just becomes like NEH what the heck to write about?!?!
Basically, I'm glad that I've learned more about things and the way they function. Very insightful. I'm busy like two bees(!?!??!?!?!), flitting from one place to another and end up rather exhausted once the night sets in. It's good i'm occupied, jam-packed with activities. Cause then I'll think less, and be happier. Simple faith, simple happiness. I like that idea. And yes, sleep is a wonderful thing. I'm not so moody with adequate sleep. Though those hereditary eye bags refuse to go away.
Other than that, I'm looking forward (quite) to the prospect of growing up and being a housewife. Or do some odd jobs(haha) then have a few office flings (or with gardeners, kidding) and thereafter settle down with my husband. I don't like the word soul mate. There is no soul mate. Just how much one complements the other, and the willingness to work out the differences to make the marriage a sustainable one. Happy Ever After? Tsh.

5 totally random facts about me now:

- I need to exercise.
-I'm sick of peanut butter.
-Different scents remind me of different times in my life.
-I like the feeling of a little creepy, goose-bumpish nostalgia.
-Experiences whether great or terrible, are wonderful.

Good morning all you sleeping heads on the pillow!! (:

BLOOMZ.

Hello what am I doing here?! Blogs are great when you actually have something good to talk about. But I don't really like talking about myself much...haha but this shall be one of those rare few posts that would be loooong and rubbish. (:

First of all.

Camp. Was great, except i feel so fucking disappointed in myself. I mean I was given a good post and I just lazed around and did nothing the whole of last year. He came and messed up a part of the year, but that's no excuse. It was disappointment, really. I've let them all down. I read the letter she gave me (she stepped down and I was her 'successor') just felt like crying. It's mighty strange what they see in me. Come on, I USED THE FUNDS. Ugh.


/


I like Taylor Swift's Today was a Fairytale song. And Justin's Bieber's Baby. Oh random fact: I suck at spelling. Den was disgusted the first time she met me and realised that I didn't know how to spell tons of words. Like guard, and juniors.


/


Boys, boys, boys. They suck the energy out of me omg! And it's not like he's-hot-makes-me-weak-so-now-that-i'm-done-staring-i'm-really-tired. They're complicated(quite) and they have their own secret talk and code. It frustrating because I'm left out. And I still think they're superficial. And they can't take rejection, so they sulk off and ignore you. WHO NEEDS FRIENDSHIPS THEN?!?!?! Pftt.


/


Tired of smiling @ bitches. >:(


/


It has to stop raining. I need to cycle!! Not need lah, but want to. Get away. Goodness the house is like stale bread. I'm cooking chin chow now, btw. Getting domesticated. Heh.


/


Sometimes I look at you and I want more than anything to tell you that it's REALLY going to end sooner or later (more of sooner). And yes maybe it's the first time for you and you're floating in the sky of passion. But love's not like that. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm wrong and judgemental; snobby. I can only be supportive. Best of luck then! :)

That was very hypocritical of me. Shit. I need shopping. Shopping needs me! Mum's giving me monthly allowance and i'm squandering it off. Buying files and dividers and photocopying notes. Eeee. Hahahhhahaha okay bb.

bb is the most unrefined way of ending a post. Like, there's facial cream called BB cream. Or bb is shortform for basketball. However, bb sounds like a sleek way to say bye. Bye sounds lame/awkward/weird. Thought of a better one, though unoriginal-

xx.

PS. Resolution for this weekend: Get G-ified. ((((((((((:

"Only the most lucid can see love as a comedy."

Happy Valentines' day eve everybody.

To tell you I love you.

I have huge veins. So ugly, like a fifty year old. And my stupid LG can't connect to the com to upload anything. :(

Note to God.

Hello. I'm not dead.

Anyway, life is same old same old, except I've realised how small Singapore is. Which is cool, cause coincidences happen, miracles, in fact. And you wonder, wow must be some sort of fate. Hahahaha what the heck lah whatever. But there is some truth in that. (:

Hate grappling with my feelings. UGH. School is surreal and suffocating(sometimes), I don't know why. It's the class. That sounds bitchy. Hahahhahahahahaa. Okay it's me then. At least I've grown closer to some people. Which I like. (:

Me and Ph tried making a pact. Actually we did, over lunch, and swearing promising it with waffles. I guess some things are too late to amend already, you know. It's like boom and there goes the year, there goes that friend you drifted apart from but never bothered to get back to.

Oh, speaking of which. I made up with a friend. ((((((: Hate it when it's awkward, seriously. So it's good. Haha.

Looking forward to tomorrow. Desperately trying to salvage my Chinese. I just feel connected to the language okay??!???!!??! This post feels like a conversation.

Shall end this off with my email name I created in p4. Life is looking good.

(:

Hit me.

Just give me a damn good reason. Tell me why I feel so fucked up and angry. I'm sorry but I can't help it that I have expectations, or excitement, because I was looking forward to it.

Helpless. I want to learn how to grow up but I don't know how to. Grow up meaning independent meaning comfortable with constant shit around meaning PMS but don't show it. Meaning, able to handle things 'maturely'.

No mood to upload the piczx. Yes the ah lianiness just lightened the tension. Anyway, hope everyone is having a better time then I am! (:

Don't play with me. :(

Lightsticks.

Watchnight service was such a bore, played with sparklers afterwards but I seem to have lost interest in childhood reminiscing. Supper with James, HY and Samuel till 2. Heart to heart/bitch talk with sis for an hour about lots of people. It's (sadly) amazing that a thirteen year friendship can just disintegrate into nothing in a span of a few months. I look at you and I have no words to say. Siti came over today. Ended up having to teach that bimbo math. Then later met up with mum's clique. OKAY YAK YAK I AM JUST BLABBING ON ABOUT TODAY LIKE IT'S THAT INTERESTING. I'm doing stupid Smart Class Geog and it's killing me. Haven't made any resolutions yet. They are made to be broken. (: This is so freaking boring. I feel sticky and grumpy. Bleh. Have been shopping quite a bit. And just enjoying freedom. I want to do something wild and wacky, on impulse, and have fun doing it. Mich and I tried on bikinis today. Let's just say she's much more well endowed than I am. Getting wayyy too public now. It's in the genes. Yay CP in one hour plus!! ((:

I should delete this blog. Like who gives two hoots about what I'm doing today anyway. Gosh.

Sink!

I've been keeping myself busy. Mainly just all of those who are finally back for their hols. Miss them lots. That's one reason why I love year ends. Christmas was a rush, like the whole of this year. Carolling with boyz was good fun. Bugis with Siti today. Fun badges and Audrey Hepburn overloaded. Hahahaha.
Looks can be deceiving. I feel bad. Subconsciously superficially judging people. Bad bad bad.

Happy New Year everyone. (:
It is time for change.

Minoz.

Night of wonders(exaggeratedly of course) with a really handsome guy. Hehe.
You're the best, T.

Why is guarding your heart so hard?

I remember that time I spelt guard wrongly and den scolded the lights outta me. Hahaahhahaa. Thanks. (: My spelling improved loads after you jumped into my life.

HE'S BACK.

I know this might look a bit lame. But I love it. Samuel drew it for me. And I pleated his hair. (:
CHURCH CAMP WAS REALLY SUPER GOOD SPIRITUALLY AWAKENING kind of an experience. Slept half an hour last night, played with the boys. All the girls were tired, so I stayed up. Just played cards and talked lots of nonsense(i learnt lotsa boy lingo) then at about 6am we all couldn't go on anymore. So just took one corner of the couch to lepak. See I'm using malay already! Managed to make the guys watch Coffee Prince with me till 2. They were hooked, even James. Parent's Night was the hilarious. BOY MOOOOOSE and dancing to ai bu pa. I wish I could have more of these sort of fun days. I mean, I really really really learnt a lot. About people, mostly. And myself. Christmas is like NEXT WEEK?!?!?!?!?! I want to spend the rest of 2009 in the best possible way. Till sooner or later I'll see you, my avid readers or random passers-by. (: Kidding. I'm no celebrity. Grace asked me to go jogging with her. HAHAHAHAA. I mean. Wow.

"Why are you always so unnaturally nice to me?"

About 10 hours later

"I'm not going to answer that question."
"What question?!?!???!"

About 2 hours later

"Oooh that question. I don't want to know the answer."

And then I just had to delete it. I hate it when you get too damn close to me.

I'm going to let my eye bags touch the floor.

THANK YOU, WEISZE.

Remember, you made this for me?

Meet me at the Equinox.

Omg. Hi. Okay. Life is good now. (:

At least I have things to do, you know, moving around and getting exhausted, wiped out completely.

New Moon-ed with HL. That show is gross, and so is Taylor Lautner. They have no potential to enunciate their words, and have no future in acting other than staring intensely at the camera.
Utterly disappointed, I honestly had much higher hopes. I know someone would be happy to hear this. (: Paige, i'm on YOUR side. Hahahahaa.

So, thursday met up with Rachel(finally!) after such a long time. Went to sake sushi and stuffed ourselves silly. Had un-eaten rice so we put it in empty pea pods and under plates for fear that they would charge us for wasting food. By the way, Yoshi's Esprit is $0.99 cheaper than Sake's. HAHAHA. R was sad for her loss. Later went to CSS to swim. Went running around like idiots in our wet swim suits, shivering because of the strong winds. Taught her how to swim. HAHA.

Friday went back to Yoshi's (i know i already quit) but it was Cez's last day so I decided to go back. I mean, I just call to say I'm coming, and then yes okay sure! My boss rockz. Had some encounter with a Chinese boy, but let's leave it for another time. (: Went to Vivo after, Danielle, Michelle and Gerrie. Hung around, shopped here and there. Took a train to Buangkok. Obviously we got lost. I will always be an (upper) east sider. Kidding about the upper! My legs were killing me then, wanted to chop them off. Try standing up from 9am, no rest, and greeting customers irashaimase(welcome in jap) for seven hours straight. Finally found auntie choowu's place. Had lots of mee siam and chicken wings. Okay this is getting so boring. Bonded alot, sharing stories and all that typical interrogation kinda thing. Rushed home at midnight, just in time, to catch Coffee Prince. Hehe. After that, GG marathon till 3.

Woke up at 7.30 today to meet Yan sing. Had to treat her to Ya kun cause I got my pay already. Hahahahaa. She's great at relating to me though she's like 30 already. I'm group leader for church camp(kudos to sis). And OGL for the sec one's next year. Wish me luck. All that leadership thing is not really my thing but it'll probably be tons of fun fun fun. (:

You know I always end posts with some random act cheem not cheem sentences that don't make sense, at least not to you of course. Well here I am, doing it again.

I hope you're worth it.

We had so much fun doing the TKGS wave, flashing bits of skin and others(haha) when we lifted our skirts.

Silly.

Definitely one-sided.
It's incomparable.
One of those fml moments, though I personally dislike that abbreviation.

Jarring my thoughts with your expressions.